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(I KNOW THIS ISNT REALLY A “DISCUSSION TOPIC“ BUT THIS WAS SOMETHING I NEEDED TO WRITE AND PRETTY HYPE TO WAS MY OUTLET OF CHOICE) 🙂

JULY. The mid-point of the year, meaning we’ve only halfway
started or we’re halfway done the year of 2011. I’d like to think of it as the fore
mentioned and believe that we have only just begun on an exciting journey. July
also means epiphanies, revelations and self re-evaluation. It makes me proud to
see my friends going off to college or university and to see people I love, making great and positive changes in life.

During the past few months I was
unhappy. I had that heavy feeling in my chest that seemed to stay there only to
remind me I would have to face my demons sooner or later, but one day something
happened. Someone whom I really cared about decided they had nothing to do with
me anymore without explanation or consolation. And instead of thinking “what
the heck I’m not perfect but at least i deserve an explanation!”,
I ended up feeling angrier with myself. I couldn’t love them properly because
at the time I didn’t love myself.And when my english teacher sat me down and told me I was wasting my potential, instead of being inspired to do better; I felt defeated and hopeless.  I began to feel upset and depressed because I
felt as though the mistakes I made were too big , too often and inexcusable. I
was self-destructing because it seemed there was no other option, if “people” already think this way of me why
even bother?
I thought. If I changed, their opinion of me would stay the
same. And so I wrote, I cried, I talked to friends and when alone I turned to
music until slowly but surely I came out of the funk. I realized that it’s OKAY
to make mistakes and to just learn from it and move on. I learned that my past doesn’t
make me who I am and that I have the power to change that for the better and I
also learned that I was worthy. Simple as that, “I am worthy”. I have so much
to offer and shouldn’t let anyone (including myself) make me to believe that I wasn’t worthy of equal respect or worthy of being happy. By lowering my standards for myself I was lowering my self-worth.

With that said, I’m now deeply involved in a new
loving relationship…with myself. I am giving myself the best I have and not
lowering the stand for ANYONE. Having
boundaries and being honest is more important than being polite or receiving temporary
satisfaction at the expense of my feelings. I don’t know how this post may
affect people, some may say I need to shut up with my philosophical crap and
some may actually get something out of this. I really do hope it’s the latter. it’s
the mid-point of the year are you happy with the way things are? Life’s too
short to feel sorry for yourself, you need to get up, get out and DO SOMETHING.
Whatever the heck makes you happy, do it and don’t be sorry about it either, it’s
your life. This doesn’t happen overnight but it’s the little things that will
make all the difference. I know this was a long post but it was important for
me to share and to get off my chest.Believing in myself and accepting that all I
can do is my best from here on out has already made a small but important difference.
I am now a high school graduate =), I got a new job that I love, I rocked my english exam, got the 2nd highest mark on my media essay, I’m back to blogging, I plan to enrol in college and most importantly I’m learning to be happy with me.

Imperfectly Amazing Me.

COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU`RE DOING TO INCREASE OR BETTER VALUE YOUR OWN SELF-WORTH! SHARE YOUR OPINION ON THE TOPIC !! If you have any suggestions  for Topic of the Week let us know! =)

Murissa<3

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